When dealing with a narcissist, your intuition is valuable. Trusting your gut and recognizing red flags can save you from falling into their manipulative traps and a whole lot of grief ahead.
Narcissists often use charm and flattery to gain control, but intuition can alert you and help you to see through their facade.
It’s important to remember that narcissists are unlikely to change, so trusting your intuition can help you make informed decisions about how to interact with them (or not).
The impact of being in a Relationship with a Narcissist
Being in a relationship with a narcissist affects your mental health and well-being. Also, though you mightn’t realise it at first, your finances and reputation are at risk of being eroded.
Narcissists tend to be self-focused. They lack empathy and consideration for others, display no introspection, and may manipulate and exploit their partners for their own gain.
You may end up with chronic feelings of low self-worth, anxiety, depression, and emotional exhaustion from damage done by a narcissist.
The constant need to manage their behaviour and expectations can be draining and may lead to you being isolated from your friends and family.
The role of intuition in dealing with a narcissist
Intuition can play a vital role in dealing with a narcissist (the type with severe and intense traits).
Narcissists (the personality disorder type) often try to manipulate and control those around them, and their behaviour can be difficult to understand or predict.
By using intuition, you may be better able to recognize when the narcissist is trying to exploit you or engage in harmful behaviour.
Intuition may help you identify patterns of behaviour in the narcissist so that you recognise the likelihood of their next “episode”.
What red flags will your intuition pick up with a narcissist
Your intuition may pick up red flags when dealing with a narcissist, for example, when they…
- Come on too strong too early in a relationship
- Mirror you
- Need your constant admiration and attention
- Send you constant messages, videos, and text
- Want to know everything you are doing, who you are with
- Display a sense of entitlement to special treatment
- Belittle you or someone else in front of others
- Play the victim for your sympathy and to manipulate you
- Become defensive or hostile when faced with criticism or challenged
- Tell stories that don’t add up
- Constantly post their life on social media for attention, embellishing the ‘truth’
- Make you feel like you’re the special one who will fix them and not let them down like all the others
- Suggesting having children and a life ever after with you very early
If your intuition is working: You should experience a twang in the tummy, a sense of unease or discomfort, a feeling that something is off or not quite right, a sense of suspicion or scepticism, or a feeling that the person is misleading you.
It’s important to remember that gut feelings alone are not always reliable indicators of deception, and should be used in conjunction with other evidence or information. Read my article Is Your Gut Always Right in Relationships?
- Overall, if your intuition tells you about someone; that they may be a narcissist, it’s important to exercise caution and protect yourself from potential harm.
Using intuition as a tool to protect yourself from narcissists
Intuition can be a powerful tool when it comes to protecting yourself from narcissists. Here are some ways you can use your intuition:
- Trust your gut feelings. If something doesn’t feel right about a person or situation, listen to your instincts. Take note – It’s a good idea to keep a journal.
- Pay attention to red flags. Narcissists often exhibit behaviour such as grandiosity, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. If you notice these traits, be cautious.
- Take your time. Narcissists often rush into relationships and try to sweep you off your feet. Take your time getting to know someone and don’t be pressured into anything.
- Look for consistency. Narcissists can be charming and charismatic, but their behaviour is often inconsistent. Pay attention to how they treat you over time.
- Seek support. Talk to trusted friends about your concerns. They can provide an outside perspective and help you stay grounded.
An important thing I will tell you from experience is to keep a diary or journal and take notes. This may save you heartache and keep you safe keep from any false-allegation backlash and cruel lies later on.
Strategies for communicating with a narcissist
When communicating with a narcissist, it is important to keep in mind that they may lack empathy and have a tendency to manipulate situations to benefit themselves.
Here are some strategies that you can use, while also relying on your intuition:
- Stay calm and in control of your emotions.
- Use “I” statements instead of blaming or accusing language.
- Stick to the boundaries you’ve set.
- Avoid getting into power struggles.
- Redirect the conversation to a neutral topic.
- Use positive reinforcement when the narcissist exhibits positive behaviour.
- Recognize when it’s time to disengage and limit your interactions with the narcissist.
- Never tell them you are suspicious of them or about your gut feelings. Never challenge them. They will never admit it and will turn the blame onto you. Keep your reservations to yourself.
If you become a target of a narcissist, you need to go ‘no contact’, as those well-experienced will tell you. This means a complete blackout of communication with them.
If you can’t do this, because of family reasons, go “grey rock”: Become emotionally unresponsive and boring.
What you do is give short, unemotional responses and avoid sharing personal information or engaging in arguments with the narcissist.
What you are doing is removing ammunition and starving them of the attention they crave so much. They will look elsewhere for their supply after a few unsuccessful attempts.
How to protect your Intuitive Mind when dealing with a narcissist
It is important to prioritize self-care, such as getting enough sleep, exercise, and social support. Zone out. Take opportunities to experience the Alpha State of Mind.
It’s not your responsibility to fix or change the narcissist – they won’t change as they don’t do introspection and so don’t see their wrongs. I speak from lived experience and will write more on this in future articles.
Focus on your own well-being.
Educate yourself: Learn more about narcissism and the impacts it has on relationships to better understand and cope.